I was in a situation recently where my value in myself was tested.
There’s a person who happens to be in my life and I’ve been distancing myself from them. Over several situations they’ve used me (where I put good faith in them and how they would treat me) and even used their kids to get at me, which is disgusting in my eyes.
I was hurt because I put in 100% when I give – whether it’s money, time or value, I don’t do anything half assed. I give my all, or I don’t do it.
Over time I’ve realised that not everyone values me or my time or my effort. Some people have their own agendas.
This person asked me for some pretty big things, requiring a lot of time and effort. Always asking for things that benefited them, always taking, never giving, demanding and trying to guilt trip me if I didn’t do what they wanted.
When the situation was reversed and I needed some support – nothing more than a few kind words, they were nowhere to be seen. Putting that aside, they were incredibly dishonest with me.
I had enough of being treated like this so I put some distance between us. When I did that, the trouble-making and bad-mouthing began. Whatever, I ignored it.
More recently, I decided to give them a second chance (or more like a 9th chance, but you know ?).
And they hit me with that same behaviour smack bang between the eyes again.
I won’t lie, I’m pissed off!
I’m human! It’s all well and good to be the bigger person, be spiritual & soulful and positive all the time.
But you know what? Sometimes it’s just not like that. I have to accept that no matter how pure our souls are, some people are really just assholes at the human level.
And yeah that might be all about them and nothing to do with me.
It’s given me the opportunity to assess how much I do value myself and my time. I also put a boundary in place.
Guess what happened? They didn’t like that and it’s made me see they absolutely don’t value me or my time.
At least I’m sure of that now ?