People-Pleasing - Delisse Lazzara
People pleasing


I think one of the hardest things in life, is to stop living your life to please other people to the detriment of yourself.
I’ve had to do this many times over, and I’m still learning. It’s tough.

The thing is, you can run around trying to do everything to please everyone. You can constantly try to live up to other people’s expectations.

How you SHOULD behave.

What you SHOULD do.

What you SHOULD say.

When you SHOULD do this or that.

But what happens? In the end, no one is happy Рincluding yourself. You end up exhausted, resentful and frustrated.

We do things like this because of fear or guilt of the consequences of not doing what someone else wants.

What’s actually going on here? You’re giving power away to someone else. It’s about letting someone else be in control of your decisions, actions and consequences.
If you take action based on what someone else wants and it’s not the right thing for you (it never is) are they going to help you deal with the consequences? Nope.
You’ll be long forgotten by the time the shit hits the fan. And the shit ALWAYS hits the fan if you’re not doing what’s right for you. (you know 100% what’s right for you, your gut instinct is screaming it at you)

I can guarantee the next thing that happens is blame. You’ll be blaming that person for everything that goes wrong.
When actually, the only person who is responsible is you. You’re responsible for your own thoughts, decisions, actions and feelings.
You can decide to keep someone else happy to the detriment of yourself. OR you can choose to please yourself first. Because you’re actually not in control of how anyone else reacts to your decisions and actions. They will do whatever it is they are going to do.

So why not make yourself happy first? Give yourself permission to make yourself happy and stop people-pleasing xo

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